I fly.
Tell me if it does not happen to you, when you see this picture.
Mmm well, perhaps not.
But me.. oh that's a different thing.
I feel like I'm floating, and my feet don't touch the ground. I can see myself there. Everywhere I want to go. There, just over that mountain, lying on my back, looking up, the sun over my face, breathing "that" air, that place, that immensity. Oh.. I just wonder.. how would I feel? Like at home? Like a summer day here? Or perhaps, like other places? Or would it make me feel that feeling of belonging, of knowing that we all are one? I really really want to know. And everytime I think about it, electricity comes to me, through my bones, through my flesh, through my mind. And explodes there. It gives me that kind of adrenaline that makes me want to experience it.
Really.
But when, suddenly a noise brings me back to "reality", I tell myself: "believe it and make it true".

Part of me knows or dreams with that.
Part of me, sometimes thinks that it's "imposible", that there's no time...
Part of me tries to be positive, tries to say: "hey! we're going to make it!".
Part of me keeps me tied with my own insecurities, my own low self-esteem...
Part of me is a bit of everything.
And then, there is that part of me, which acts as the "glue", putting it all together again.

I don't know.
Perhaps I'll realize, not now of course (everything comes with experiencies), that I belong here. And I'll always do.
I want to free that wild spirit who is begging me for freedom. I tell her: "not know dear.. Today, now, we have to do what we ought to do. Don't worry, our time will come. For sure".

Although I'm anxious and I can't wait, I force myself to be patient. (and that applies to every aspect of my life, not just the "world").


So I have to remember, this. This feeling. These words. To be brave and not a coward anymore. To confront the problems and obstacles. I don't want to run away again. I've been doing it almost all my life. So, dear V, remember it. If it's necessary.. just press the "play" button, and fly again.

I've learnt something very important. Something learnt by my few experiencies with this life. I'm turning into another person; wiser though I know there will not be the "only" experiencies that I'll have. And what is it? We all know that we are humans... but do we know that we are different?

If you, like me, have come to this point in your life, let me tell you that we're going to be able to see things from another point of view.

We are different; act, love, make decisions or not, live differently. I may think something is right and you may think it is not. I may love you in my way and you in yours. I'll make my decisions according to what I think it is "the right thing to do" and you'll, perhaps, disagree with me, because you would have done it in another way. And then you'll start to think that, what I did was wrong, that I've made a mistake. All because I didn't act as you would have done it. Then.. the process has started. Unconsciously we judge people. But If you think -with the new perspective in mind- you'll realize that we, humans, are nobody to judge the other, we've no right to do it. The only one that can judge what you've done is yourself.

Perhaps a new path will be opened for you. Walk through it. I promise. It won't let you down. You'll be able to understand others, to accept the way they are. This is going to be a very difficult thing to do, but the  rewards are immense.

We always say: "I accept you the way you are, because I love you, because we share things, because I know you and you know me". But are we really conscious? Do we really think when we say those words? I think, that we usually don't. Because when the time comes, and we really have to do what we said, we act differently. And we end up dissapointed, hurt, thinking that the other doesn't understand, that the other is guilty for everything that has happened and is happening to us. We enter into a path that doesn't have an end.

So... I'm sharing this with you. Think about it. Think what you want for your life. Fight for it, and be happy. 

I wish you all the happiness, I wish you the best. 

Because we have something in common.

Because I understand you.

Because I accept you, just as you are.

Puerta de entrada...

Todo empezó ese día. Esa foto fue el principio de todo. Todo comenzó con estas hermosas palabras:

Permiso: vi luz y entre!

con el calor que esta haciendo en bs as te juro que me acomodaria en ese pekeño arroyito para refrescarme! jajajajaja

Un beso

Y ahí es cuando todo empezó. Esta amistad. ¿Quién se hubiese imaginado que uno puede encontrar amigos donde menos o cuando menos lo imagina? A veces tenemos prejuicios sobre los lugares en donde conocemos personas pero esos mismos terminan destruyendose cuando te das cuenta de la persona que tenes al lado. Y esta personita tan especial para mí, llegó a mi vida cruzando esa puerta. Y así de la nada empezamos a hablar. Y ahora.. ella ocupa un gran lugar en mi corazón. Tanto tanto que hoy quiero ser "agua" y "luz" para el camino que tiene que recorrer. No esta sola. Pero es un camino por el que tiene que transitar sola. Yo no puedo llevarla.. (me encantaría). Pero yo te voy a esperar al final del camino, te lo dije, con un cartel luminoso que te guíe. Quiero hacerte la mochila menos pesada y el camino mas llevadero, hoy y siempre. Te quiero mucho amiga! y GRACIAS por darme la oportunidad de ser. 

Y esta fue la primer canción que me recomendaste... te acordás?

FUERZA QUE PODEMOS!!! =)

Extraterrestres

"... te busco y no te encuentro..."

Antes podía haber dudado, pero ahora se que existen. Tengo pruebas de ello. Y conozco con detalles sus costumbres, la manera en que proceden, sus sentimientos. Son una tenue transparencia y viven poco tiempo. Algunos, solamente semanas. Otros, cuatro o cinco meses. Se meten en ciertos hombres: se corporizan en ellos. Esos hombres se transforman mientras son habitados por los extraterrestres...

(...)Una mañana (o una tarde o una noche) vi delante de mi a un hombre. El mismo rostro, el mismo cuerpo, la misma ropa... pero otro. 

El extraterrestre había muerto, tal vez su cadáver cayo como un charquito de agua sobre una calle cualquiera por la que caminábamos. O en la alfombra de casa.

La cuestión es que, desde entonces, estoy viviendo con un hombre que no ha vuelto a repartirme "te amo"... 

Hoy estoy con un hombre que no se diferencia de los otros. 

Lo que no se, lo que me mantiene viva y esperanzada es... si el mismo hombre puede ser habitado dos veces por un extraterrestre... Y cuando oigo la llave en la puerta de calle se me apuran los latidos, me aletean mariposas en la sangre y pienso que tal vez el que entra... que a lo mejor  ha vuelto... que quizás...

Mientras ojeo las paginas de un viejo album murmuro "gracias". A la persona que siempre, siempre me ha alentado en el corazon. Es el rostro sonriente que viene a mi mente en los dias soleados y tambien en los lluviosos. Aunque su recuerdo se diluya en la distancia y en el tiempo, el dia en que nuevamente la busco y regresa a mi, mis ojos se llenan de lagrimas...
Pedir un deseo a la primera estrella del atardecer se me ha convertido en un habito. Y mientras miro hacia arriba el cielo del atarceder, te busco con todo el corazon. Ese rostro sonriente me da tristeza y tambien gozo. Si puedes verme desde donde estas...
Es el rostro sonriente que viene a mi mente en los dias soleados y tambien en los lluviosos. Aunque tu recuerdo se diluya en la distancia y el tiempo, siento tristeza y te extraño, y con tu recuerdo... mis ojos se llenan de lagrimas. Quisiera verte, quisiera verte una vez mas y con tu recuerdo... me encuentro con los ojos llenos de lagrimas..

Amiga, cuando mires las pálidas estrellas y pienses que estas sola, quiero convertirme en la amabilidad que borre el dolor de tu pensamiento...

Es increíble el estar en ese momento único. En donde presencias el milagro. El milagro de estar vivo y poder vivir esa vibra, esa relación, ese lazo que te une indescriptiblemente a otra persona. El milagro de estar conciente de, que a pesar de que das muchas cosas, recibís el doble. Uno nunca lo llega a apreciar hasta que le toca. Hasta que le toca esa conciencia. Y la verdad te sentís afortunado. Gracias por ser la luz en mi oscuridad. 

Destiny

Today was an odd day. A lot of feelings involved in it.. I didn't feel well there; all around me were feelings of sadness, people crying, sobbing... And then, my grandma said: "It was Destiny". And I simply smiled. And I started asking myself about this word.. Destiny, destiny... I don't believe in Destiny.. I don't think that we have a destiny that it's been already written. I believe that we create our own destiny while we live. With the different choices we make, people we meet, places, experiences we have.

We have to remember that the path doesn't end with death.. I believe in another place. We go there when it is our time, or when time decides to take us.. We create our own destiny but none of us is safe from death, death is certain.

I like to imagine them, all the people that I love and went there, like angels, angels taking care of us, waiting for us. Every time I look at the sky, I try to picture them in my mind, smiling...

There would be better days, I know... 

Pain

We feel pain almost all our life. Different kinds of it. Some are superficial wounds but some others leave something in you, like a stroke in a painting. Superficial or not, we learn from them. Always.

We become stronger, wiser..

But this knowledge comes to you when you have experienced pain and have understood its significance. This comes with experience in life.

My first painful experience, the worst of all, happened to me when I was fifteen years old. I've lost the most important person for me. But at that time I saw things, life, with others eyes..

Now, I'm suffering again. 

When you lose someone. When that person is not here anymore, though his/her presence will always be with you, is like a piece of your soul has been tore up in thousand of pieces.

I'm like a child who develops her senses again: I see life with other eyes, not my fifteen years old eyes; I listen to the silence that invades everything; I taste my salty tears; I smell the scent of despair in the air; I  perceive her presence everywhere I look.

Dealing with pain is a process. And as a process, it has a beginning and an end.

I know that I will be alright and that the sun will come out again. It is just a matter of time.